BEING SINGLE IS …..
my choice to be exact. Why would i choose hustlin’ out after work to spend time with someone? Been there done that! Wasted my time, effort, the money i make. Yes i’m selfish, i’m selfish for a cause. I just can’t do it now. In fact, i go to the club not to even meet new people but to simply have a good time. I can’t just fuck up now, not now. I’ve fucked up a few times because of girls, yes i kid you not. I get attached, i wear my heart upon my sleeve. (I’m a water sign, i get emotional. I don’t mean to involve astrology but then again i thought it made sense for me)
I don’t wanna be in my 30’s lookin at my significant other, venting to her that i should have done more, should have seen more, and with that i could have been more. Have that sense of self pity when its too late? Fuck that.
I get my lonely nights, a lot. But i have friends that i constantly catch up with, so i’m cool. I’m cool in the cuts. Yes, my distance from everybody doesn’t fail to bother me. Well let me be fifi from brentwood, let’s keep it as my title.
Thing is, i’ve experienced love. First degree love. That kind of love that was unconditional and bittersweet at the same time. I have experienced being smitten to my knees once, and with the heartbreak though? I’m not ready to do it again. So if i ever consider being in a relationship though, i’d tell you, it would be for petty things. The cuddling, the consistency, the camaraderie and the friendship with a little bit of intimacy. (Unless someone makes a difference, as of now my mind is relentless, but when the heart comes to the matter - its a whole different set) Yet, at this stage there’s more in store for me. But then again, i cannot afford to lose what i’ve invested on. My career is my ultimate success, my pride and joy, and let it be known that i’ll share that one day with someone.
Not now honey, life is too fast for me to multitask.
(Source: fifeefuyfum)
